We are in love, and we want to get married..

I asked a young couple
planning to tie the knot,
Why marry?

He looked at me in surprise,
then he looked at her.
Their expression almost said,
duh, isn't that obvious?

Then they both said
almost as one,
We are in love, and
we want to get married.

But just what is this love?

Isn't love a feeling
just as any other?
I am happy,
I am sad,
I am angry,
I am in love.

Do we expect to be
happy all our days,
or sad or angry for ever?

Love rises.
Love wanes.

What a folly then
to base a marriage
on something so fickle!

If being in love was
the only reason you married,
when you feel out of love
which at some stage
you surely will,
it seems only logical
to be not married,
to be divorced;
for the reason you married
is now no longer valid.

A small word said
or sometimes not said,
is enough for one to say
I've had enough,
I'm walking out.

So is there no place
for love in a marriage?

Of course there is.

But it is not just that
fuzzy, tingly feeling.
It is love in action.

Love is a choice you make.

A choice to love
your spouse
whether in love
or out of love.

Young man,
Young woman,
planning to tie the knot?
Don't ask the question,
do i love him?
do i love her?
Ask instead, if you can
choose to love him,
choose to love her.
For what he is,
for what she is,
whether you feel
in love or
out of love.

And when you tie the knot,
remember that you are
making a promise
before Almighty God,
and a promise to each other
to be companions for ever.

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Comments (10)

Biju Mangalath says...

Teacher... I will call you ...

Vasanthy S says...

I liked your poem Biju.....I laughed a lot reading it....your kuttikkusruthi is still there mone......

Biju Mangalath says...

Dinu write something about an 'Ambulance Driver'... hope u have closely observed... what this chap on the steering wheel does... but rarely rewarded..

Preethi Joseph says...

biju...give me a chance to write that...Biju Mangalath

Biju Mangalath says...

Ma'am...pls do it.. you are seeing this on a daily basis .. na... do it first, will soon tell you about a 'next-level-plan' ...

Biju Mangalath says...

Will start today na..

Preethi Joseph says...

His Name is Abu....

Biju Mangalath says...

Let me post something what NRIs and NARIs say...

Biju Mangalath says...

Dins, I need to walk few Johnies... to understand this.... or post an explanation Machambi!

Dinu says...

Some people cannot take more than five lines!

Here is an explanation especially for the johnny man ...

johnny johnny
yes papa
feeling in love?
yes papa.
go love your wife
yes papa.

johnny johnny
yes papa
feeling in love?
no papa.
go love your wife yes papa.

Sajna A says...

Arranged love marriage is the best

Sreelatha D says...

Ee Dinu....chumma confusion undakkalle. Why did I get married ??? Now I am confused...love or choice to love or both

Dinu says...

Ah! The million dollar question (love marriage or arranged marriage?) in the garb of an innocent comment! A question, the answer to which, has not been settled even after years of discussion and debate. And neither will I fall into the trap of trying to settle it here!

But I will stick my neck out and say this much, and I choose my words carefully - consider two healthy marriages of 20 years, exactly similar for arguments sake in ALL aspects. If one of them was preceded by a courtship period of 2-3 years, then we have 22 or 23 years of relationship in that case as opposed to 20 in the other case. And personally, I would take 23 years over 20 any day.

So ultimately, I don't think it is the 'quality' of the relationship (which one is better?) that will differ in the two cases, but the 'quantity' (which one is longer?).

Minila Cheriyan says...


Margaret J says...

a good message...

Priya V says...